Saturday, February 26, 2011

:: oh. you write porn. ::

I don't tell many of my friends I write erotica. Not because I'm embarrassed about it, but all too frequently the response is “Oh. So you're writing porn.”

It's true that written pornography and erotica have a lot in common. In fact, so much so that if you try and get a solid definition of what makes one different from the other you will find as many answers as there are people with opinions.

One thing that everyone seems to agree on is that there is a difference.

Everyone except those aforementioned acquaintances who believe erotica = porn. They are entitled to their opinion and I have no judgment for those who feel that way. I have found, though, that those who lump erotica and porn into one messy (and usually distasteful) package neither read nor enjoy either.

You notice I continue to distinguish the one from the other. Perhaps that's just my conservative upbringing trying to put a respectable slant on something many still consider taboo. But to me there is a difference.

Porn is a wonderful thing. It's raunchy. It's hot. It doesn't bother with story or language or style. It is straightforward and to the point, and that point is sex. Porn reminds me of a guy I knew in college. One night I ran into him at a little restaurant bar turned nighttime dance club. He approached me on the miniscule dance floor and opened the conversation with “My girlfriend and I broke up last week and I'm really lonely.”

Erotica, on the other hand, is more like a secret crush. The one that catches your attention with a laugh; the one you tell your friends is totally “not your type” but makes you wobbly around the knees when you bump into him on the street. Erotica is the guy you don't even realize you're falling in love with until one day you head home after getting a cup of coffee together and inside you feel like you've lost something by leaving him behind. Erotica is the heartache of a fight that turns bitter and cruel, the drama of the unexpected and the vulnerability of loving someone because of their faults and not in spite of them.

In short, porn is a one night stand; quick, hot and fun while it lasts, but by morning the thrill is gone.

Erotica is life. With more sex.

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